


Who wants a badge for ignoring the girl with the pink hair and the bad attitude?

by 9Seal_Indeed9 (orphan_account)



Series: Robby Rotten/Eridan Ampora Dare [1]
Category: Bee Movie (2007), Homestuck, LazyTown
Genre: Anal Sex, Beach Sex, Bulges and Nooks, Come Inflation, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, My moirail betted I wouldn't do this, Please Kill Me, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rare Pairings, you were wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 04:27:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8607826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/9Seal_Indeed9
Summary: My moirail brought this up and since there weren't any fics like this, I wanted to be the first to write one. This is a crack fic, so please don't take it seriously.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> kill me  
> check me out at http://seal-indeed.tumblr.com

The young troll had always had problems getting matesprits. Life was against you when you were the prince of the sea. He thought he had a good chance with Feferi, but he was mistaken. That ship crashed and burned, pardon the pun. He was misunderstood at every opportunity. He wasn't evil. Just desperate.  
One evening, he ran his fingers through his purple tinged hair and sighed. He had been browsing the internet all day, surfing every dating website possible. He needed a breath of fresh air, so he decided to take a walk on the beach.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i crave death  
> Check out my Tumblr at http://homestuck-gay.tumblr.com

Robbie Rotten grumbled under his breath. He had been trying to capture the over excited Sportacus all evening! He just couldn't catch a break with these people.   
"With all this effort I put in to trying to catch THAT bozo, I might as well not be lazy at all!"   
He stomped his way out to the LazyTown beach. The best way to avoid responsibility is to go on a picnic, he decided.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good lord. 15 hits already.  
> Check out my Tumblr http://homestuck-gay.tumblr.com

Eridan raced down the beach, his cool feet pounding again the sun soaked sand. His gills burned as oxygen rushed into his lungs. His cape fluttered behind him and his hair tickled the nape of his neck.   
He was just starting to feel a little better about his situation when he smacked face first into someone incredibly tall, blacking out instantly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you're all fucking happy  
> Check out my Tumblr http://homestuck-gay.tumblr.com

Robbie flinched as the handsome troll flung himself against him. Eridan was laid softly on the ground with the tender fingers of a man who hasn't done anything in his life.  
"Pardon me! Are you alright?" Robbie said, startled.  
Eridan slowly came to, only to be faced with the most handsome face he had ever seen. Robbie fluttered his eyelashes as he held the back of Eridan head in his gentle hand. As soon as Eridan reached up and touched his face, he knew it was true love.   
"oh fuck sorry. my name is... eridan ampora. i'm the prince of the alternian oceans. and... if i dare ask... wwho are you?" Eridan whispered breathlessly. Robbie choked back a sob and looked deep into Eridan's violet flecked eyes. "My name is Robbie Rotten, your highness. I'm the person in charge of making sure LazyTown stays lazy."  
Eridan carefully pulled Robbie's head down to his own level.   
"i think thats a fuckin fantastic job" he purred, sinking into a deep kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now i gotta write a smut chapter gfdi at least i'm being paid  
> Check out my Tumblr http://homestuck-gay.tumblr.com

Robbie tore off Eridans clothes hungrily, freeing his dripping bulge. The sheer SIZE of it! It writhed, it's purple juices staining both their laps. Eridan moaned as Robbie touched it experimentally. He felt his own package straining against his striped pantsuit. Eridan noticed his discomfort and stumbled to free Robbie's rock hard _dick_.

Robbie, free now, massaged his junk to relieve some of the tension. Eridan clasped his hand to stop him. "i havve a better idea."

* * *

 

5 minutes later and Robbie was poised over Eridan, his dick lined up to the others nook. Robbie licked his lips. "go fast. i wwanna feel you inside a me." Robbie nodded, sweat drenching his hair, and pushed the tip of his boner into Eridan clenched up sex hole. Eridan moaned and rolled his hips into Robbie's body, Robbie's schlong pushing deep into Eridan's coot. "oh _fuck_ , robbie~" Eridan yelped, his bulge twisting in pleasure. Robbie panted as he thrust deeper, his cock growing in length as he became more aroused. Robbie grew more frantic to relieve himself, his liquid love becoming hard to bear. He gave a shout as he released his seed deep into Eridan. Eridan howled, feeling himself fill up with the discharge from Robbie's cum gun. Robbie gasped, pushing the last of it inside Eridans cock pocket.

Robbie fell next to Eridan as they both panted. Eridan looked over at him. "my turn." he said, pushing Robbie into a position with his ass in the air.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brfgyevhnjkmjmuhnygtfvcdfghjnhbgvfc  
> Check out my Tumblr http://homestuck-gay.tumblr.com

Eridan pushed his dripping wet skin flute into Robbie's damp _anus_ , his wriggling tentacle digging deep inside. He pushed in as deep as possible before wrenching out quickly, pounding back in with a wet squelch. Eridan thrust in and out, speeding up as he went. He could feel himself getting closer to the edge. He let out a mighty roar as he released buckets full of his grape juice. Robbie's stomach pushed outwards and he screamed. Hie touched his distended stomach gently as a breathless Eridan layed down beside him. Robbie glared at him as he massaged his sore stomach. "You could have warned me that there was so much." He huffed. Eridan smiled. "i kneww you could take it."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhh  
> Check out my Tumblr http://homestuck-gay.tumblr.com

Barry Bee Benson watched their love fest from his vantage point in the tree. He pulled out his knife and set his chiseled jaw. He flew down and cut open Eridans stomach. Eridan screamed as he died instantly. "NO 1 TRyS TO STEEL MAH TROCBBIE" Barry screeched as he picked up Robbie in his strong bee arms. Robbie sobbed and kissed Barry. "I knew you'd come for me! It was a mistake for me to be with him. How will you ever forgive me?" Barry nuzzled Robbies hand. "I'll alwlkyas fogyve u bab,,,,"

THE FUCKING END

Dedicated to Robbie Rotton's actor, who has cancer. You can help though! Please go donate for his cause at <https://www.gofundme.com/2tm9tqk>


End file.
